Sara without an H > this collection: Poems > Warm Hands Cold Heart > The Juggler > Form A Queue > Lamé > The Alibi > Attention Seeker > Consider It Brought > Genie In A Jam Jar >> next collection: Fragments Of Hell

Lamé (French) — pronounced Lah-may — is a type of fabric woven or knit with thin ribbons of metallic yarns, either gold, silver or copper. 

Au fait (French) — pronounced Oh-fay — is an expression used in English to mean having a good or detailed knowledge of something.

Lamé

(written 26 Nov 2014)

I am a lazy diva,
I'm too fabulous to stand,
I'm too glamorous to walk for long,
A golden crip stick in my hand.
I paint my face up good-style,
Get my fake fur jacket on,
Sup some ales and spit some rhymes,
And work it like a don.
But don't show disappointment,
Be careful what you say,
If you're let down my leg won't work,
You're lame... but I'm Lamé.

Ah thanks, you like my seat-stick!
You want one of your own?
You want to lug one round with you
Where near or far you roam?
Really? No, you can't sit down on it,
It isn't like a toy,
It's essential to my diva-ing,
Which I happen to enjoy.
But I'm not enjoying this much,
Please get out of my way,
See you there on your two legs,
You're lame... but I'm Lamé.

I'm too idle to look blighted,
I'm too fabulous for pain,
Yes, I have heard of glucosamine,
Please don't tell me again!
Yes, you think it makes a difference,
Though I guarantee it won't,
It makes you feel better telling me,
But it won't help me, so don't. 
I know you want to cure me,
But you're really not au fait,
You're the one that needs the cure,
You're lame... but I'm Lamé.

What? You want to know the problem?
You think you'll comprehend?
It's a lengthy explanation,
Which I'm happy to forfend,
'Cause I'm kinda done explaining,
To the doctors and the quacks,
How I've figured out this injury,
And it's nothing like bad backs.
I could sit and write a book on it,
Or a poem, and I may,
But I doubt you'll force it out of me,
You're lame... but I'm Lamé.

How am I in the bedroom?
How good of you to ask!
I guess you need to estimate
If you're equal to the task. 
I'm a princess, since you're asking,
You have leave to kiss my... shoe!
Take a break you golden flake,
Take your silver bullet too,
Take your tarnished charms and stick 'em,
Take ten-thousand shades of grey,
You're a copper-bottomed muppet,
You're lame... but I'm Lamé.


© Sara Nicola Ruth

big up

My seat-stick which I have been using for so many years I can’t even remember when I got it.

Hundreds of people have asked me where I got it. I think I’m due some commission from Switch Sticks

Sara without an H > this collection: Poems > Warm Hands Cold Heart > The Juggler > Form A Queue > Lamé > The Alibi > Attention Seeker > Consider It Brought > Genie In A Jam Jar >> next collection: Fragments Of Hell